Our 3rd Anniversary is coming up. Is it lame that I'm totally proud? It's my longest relationship ever. Hahahaha. When I bragged about that to my old man the other day, he looked scared. And not entirely impressed. Since we're engaged to be married. Like, someday. And especially about the bragging part.

I'm discussing "Successful Relationships" with a friend. She often says that the One Thing her love life has taught her is that she knows Nothing. I can appreciate that feeling, fer sher, even if I don't think she needs to disqualify herself as a relationship-saavy person because she's never had a "successful" one. Or that she knows nothing. She knows plenty.

Not just because I'm partial to her and I feel that because she's so fucking great it HAS to be His Idiocy that fucks up the relationship (it is, though), or because I'm partial to Womankind and I can confidently say that We Suck Less at this stuff (I'm talking about the Non Crazies, okay - I know there are crazy bitches out there - but they're not me, and they're not my closest, greatest girlfriends - I can vouch for their sanity and Great Catchness) - but because I don't know what determines a Successful Relationship. I know I know, healthiness, communicativeness, respect - I know there's a LIST of desirible features. But entertain me for a sec.

When she disqualified herself to me with a What The Hell Do I Know, I've Never Had A Successful Relationship statement, I felt as if I had to beg to differ.

None of us have had successful relationships, I could argue. Or we'd all be IN them still. In the orginal one. So the only successful ones are the ones we're currently in, by virture of them not being Kaputted yet, which means SHIT. What the fuck is a Successful Relationship? There's no such thing.

And the next person that smugly claims they're in one will get socked in the mouth my me. Take THAT. In the kisser! HA.

Then she shot back that she could name a few - 2 couples that are friends of ours, Goldie & Kurt (ha), and kindly, she mentioned my folks. And they're great, they are. I'm lucky to have them. BUT - my folks almost split up when I was in high school. AND my dad fucked it up when they were teens and lost my mom. AND they're each other's 2nd marriages. Ha. But yeah, I can admit that there are more HEALTHY relationships out there than Cynical Marci can admit.